Keeping busy is the best way to be.

I haven't updated in a few days and for that I must apologize. I've been incredibly busy applying for jobs, going on interviews and going out with Chrissey, her dad and her mom. At this point, my vision isn't much better and it's come down to my right eye compensating for my left. I've been able to drive, although I have to do it carefully since I only have a bit of peripheral vision in the left. The dimmer switch is still turned almost all the way down leaving the center of my vision shadowed in the dark. It's annoying but I'm adjusting. I can't wait until I get to the point where it just a.) seems normal or b.) my vision returns. I'm hoping for the latter.
The count down until I'm off prednisone continues. I have to admit, I'll be sad to see it go since it's the only thing that aides me in my weight loss. This is how I know my body is all sorts of screwed up. When most people lose their period and gain weight, I gain my period and lose weight. It just doesn't make sense. If it weren't for all the terrible side effects I'd beg my doctor to let me stay on it, just for the benefits of the weight loss. It wouldn't even have to be a large dose, just maybe two pills a day to keep the weight loss coming.
There isn't much else to report. I continue to suffer with acne and hair growth, but, it's all part of the daily challenge with these two diseases. I'm also a bit nervous right now anyways because as it turns out, I no longer have insurance. I'm desperately trying to get on state insurance and on Monday, between interviews I'm going to check out getting on disability since I'm still blind. Let's hope I get it kids!

I love the quiet days.

Today was rather mild as far as symptoms go. I took my third day of six prednisone and look forward to tapering down to five tomorrow and so on. I'm on the second day of my prednisone induced menstrual cycle and the cravings are horrendous. I'm not even entirely sure what's driving them, the prednisone or the fact that PMSing. And I am. I'm irritable, depressed, anxious, bloated and broken out. I can't even imagine being anymore unhappy with my body. I need to start getting out there and moving around before the prednisone makes more fat little grubby pockets all over my body. The only good thing is that my vision is slowly coming back, I can actually make out differences in brightness.
The prednisone acne is bad. Very bad. It's all over my face, curves around my ears and is starting to spread down to my shoulders. They look like blisters more than anything else. My body is literally pushing the medicated toxins out of my body. It's disgusting. I feel like a game of connect the dots on a child's play pad.
I think, by far, what's getting to me the most is the depression. It's making me homesick, which is a very rare thing for me to feel. I've got this nagging little voice in the back of my head telling me I made a bad decision. I know this is far from true, that I made the right decision for me but it's this damn depression.
Tomorrow is a new day with a fresh slate. We'll have to see what happens.

I wish I could just understand.

I'm sick of doctor's not listening to me when I tell them something's wrong with me. I've been to a rather rude endocrinologist who shrugged my rather odd symptoms off as a just another PCOs'er who needs to exercise and lose weight. She completely disregarded my statements when I told her there was a connection between solumedrol/prednisone and my periods. I honestly believe that she, after seeing hundreds of other overweight patients, just looked at the shell casing and dismissed me. It's a shame. I really think there's an opportunity here at a discovery.
You see, it all started when I was in my early teens. I received my period once, from the time I was 13 until I was put on birth control when I was 17. That was the beginning of my journey but there's been a few bumpy parts along the way. Bumpy parts, that just don't make any sense.
Prednisone makes my body menstruate. That's right. Of all the things the doctor's have put me on including birth control, metformin, estrogen, etc. the one thing that allows me to have a cycle is the prednisone. At this rate, it's the only thing that works. I would consider it a fluke if it happened once or twice while on prednisone but so far it's happened during every one of my treatments.
I've said this before, but I can't help but feel it's all connected. I've sometimes considered the idea that it may be cushing's or some related disease but nevertheless, it always points to hormones. Perhaps it's some sort of adrenal crisis? I haven't the slightest idea. My main goal, when I get insurance out here, is to see a specialist, someone who is actually interested in these weird symptoms and will listen to me when I tell them something is wrong.
I think it all comes down to discrimination from doctor's. Whenever they see an overweight person walk into their office they immediately think of this person as unhealthy, a hypochondriac and just in need of losing a few pounds. I really wish doctor's would treat the symptoms and the body, not just my shape.

A Rebif Tweak

I had a bit of a tweak out this evening when I went to take my rebif. I had convinced myself it was going to hurt really really bad. I'm not even sure where this thought came from. Maybe it was because both Kel and Kristen were watching me. I hyped myself all up. I had originally planned on injecting it into my arm but the fear of that quick pinch freaked me out so much that I ended up injecting it into my belly. I don’t know what the fuss was all about- I didn’t even end up feeling it! Maybe it’s the collective sucking in breath by those around you that gets you going!

There’s still no real progress from the initial symptoms, except that the band around my waist doesn’t feel as tight, or perhaps I’m just getting used to it. I still have trouble breathing if I bend over or if I’m in the bathroom with the shower running (heat). I’m using my walker out in public and I’ve noticed that for about ten minutes my walking is okay (better than what it was) but after that it all goes down hill and my left leg begins to drag behind me.

When I stand up I tilt to the side. I think it’s because of the tightness in my midsection. It keeps me from really getting comfortable!

Sorry for the fragmented post. I’m exhausted but the fear of waking up with muscle spasms again has me quivering in fear. I can deal with pain in normal circumstances but any MS related pain has me calling foul!

That odd symptom I seem to only get when I’m on solumedrol came back in full force today! The last time I went to the endocrinologist I had mentioned to her that I seem to only get my period after I’ve had a round of IV steroids and sure enough after this round I’m at it again! There HAS to be some connection between the two (adrenal fatigue? Cushing’s?) but everyone just chooses to ignore it. It’s just odd that with everyone else the solumedrol makes their period go MIA and it makes me have it (and it’s the only thing that works too, otherwise I’m barren!). Maybe I should get a second opinion. The body is an interesting piece of work and I can’t help but think that the MS, the PCOs and this whole solumedrol/period thing are all related! I’m sure there can be one main cause for everything and as soon as I figure out what it is I’ll be cured and I can go back to living my life!